…where I have been arranging my boots, to write a new blog.
Really, Butchie, did you think that was going somewhere else?? I remain always and forevermore perched upon that fence!
Anywho. For those of you who have been reading my blogs for a while, back in 2006, I posted a blog about some little known facts about Mr. Wiggles.
Fact numero uno (see? I am too adapting to El Paso!) was that smoking decreases the size of Mr. Wiggles. There was a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo about the lack of oxygen making the blood vessels shrink and therefore, Mr. Wiggles shrank as well.
Not more than a few months later, I began to notice a late night infomercial for a product called Extenze. This product supposedly makes Mr. Wiggles longer.
Hm.
Coincidence?
This blogger thinks NOT. After some very in depth research, I have reached conclusive and irrefutable proof that there is a link, and that both companies are owned by Big Tobacco. They addict young men to cigarettes, shrink their wee-wees, then sell them the cure to Wiggles, Jr.
It is all part of the conspiracy. It is the sad fact that they don’t show you on TV.
So, for those of you who say that my blogs are not educational or insightful, I have only this to say in return. Nana nana boo boo!
Huh, do you supposed smoking affects my countertops??
**Disclaimer: Just about everything after “Back in 2006…” and “Smoking decreases the size of Mr. Wiggles…” is complete and total bullshit and conjecture. (The only thing I have researched lately is how many pairs of knee high hooker boots I can fit in a 6×8 walk-in closet.) But wouldn’t it be fun if it were true??**
Verbal Assassinations 